Have you heard the one about...?

[glowing]

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Q. Did you hear about the man who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody. ;D

[liz2mac]

Lol, thank you Glowing! Funny there are five in my family too, I always did think that there was SOMTHING different about my brother!
Liz

[glowing]

A man bought his wife a new lipstick that was guaranteed to help her lose weight. It's called Superglue.

Thought I'd spotted a new super hero when I saw a man running down the street wearing a cape. Turned out he hadn't paid for his haircut. ;D

[glowing]

A man met a girl and took her home to meet his parents. His dad whispered to him,"Son, where did you meet her? She's cross-eyed, bald, bowlegged and she's got no teeth."
The man said, "There's no need to whisper dad, she's deaf."

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to pour. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister Mummy," the child told her mum and then told the minister, "Mummy can't come to the phone right now. She's too busy hitting the bottle."

[glowing]

Groan alert.
Q Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party?
A. (All together now) He had no body to go with.

Five Very Useful Tips For Women...

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other. ;D

[glowing]

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names and all are different colours but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Birthdays are actually good for you. The more you have the longer you live!

[glowing]

The government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake olympic 2012 tickets. I think I'll be alright though, my tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seems genuine. ;D

A row broke out amongst the wheelchair race team as some have been tested positive for WD40!